How many of you have found themselves in a situation where you have experienced a breakup but didn’t end up crying on the couch eating ice cream for a month?
Did you feel guilt for not grieving?
First of all, let me assure you that there is nothing wrong with not grieving a breakup. There are no right feelings to feel after ending a relationship. All relationships are different from each other, people are different, and everyone feels differently. We are all entitled to our own feelings. Heartbreak is not the standard end of a relationship; it comes in many shapes and forms.
There is a very strong norm in this society where we feel we should be grieving the end of relationships. It’s almost expected of us to go through a very depressive period before getting better. We see this modelled to us in pop culture all the time, so much so that we might start to feel like there’s something we’ve missed? Like we didn’t get the ‘memo’ on how to properly feel when breaking up with someone.
We are all different though, and nobody but you can know what went on in your relationship behind closed doors! It’s ok to feel relief, to feel happy, to feel numb, sad, excited, angry or anything else. There is no right way to feel in this situation, and none of the feelings are better than others.
Remind yourself that whatever you’re feeling right now, is valid.