What makes you satisfied in your sexual relationships? Have you ever considered the dimensions of your sexual satisfaction and what those consist of? Reflecting on your past sexual relations is one good way to evaluate what parts are usually important to you or in what parts you could feel more satisfied. Knowing your sexual needs and wants more clear makes it easier to communicate those also to your partner. We have listed seven different dimensions of sexual satisfaction below that you can reflect your experiences on.

1. Safety 

– How safe do you feel in your sexual relationships? This includes the safety of using proper protection if needed but also considers your psychological safety. It’s beneficial to reflect does your sexual partner make you feel safe and how they act to reassure you of this feeling.

2. Consent

 – From all the things you do with your sexual partner(s), how many do you specifically agree to? Be mindful that consent can be communicated verbally or non-verbally to better understand each other’s boundaries. You can communicate consent non-verbally for instance with a head-nod but no is always a no.

3. Psychological/physical enjoyment

– How much do you enjoy your sexual experiences? What type of things do you like and would want to experience more? Psychological enjoyment can also include the connection with your sexual partner. A good connection can make you feel psychologically more satisfied. 

4. Confidence

-How confident do you feel in expressing yourself with your sexual partner(s)? What are the things that make you possibly feel that way? If there are things that usually boost your confidence you could consider communicating those to your sexual partner(s) more clearly in the future.

5. Self-determination

-How many of these sexual relationships you have freely chosen to have? It’s important to reflect on whether you have been able to influence these relations and choose them yourself. It’s also good to consider what makes you feel like you can influence a sexual situation. Is it that you can express your wants and needs freely, for example, you feel comfortable stopping at any time you like?

6.Communication/negotiation

-Are you satisfied with the communication with your partner(s)? If you can communicate with your partner in a way that makes you feel more satisfied; consent, safety and other dimensions will always benefit from it. What is the way of communication that makes you feel satisfied in your relations?

7. Privacy

-How much privacy do you have in your sexual encounters? If you often feel like your sexual relations are private between you and your partner(s), this dimension is probably fulfilled. If you can’t trust the person to keep your privacy, you could try discussing these borders better.